I used to have scathing thoughts about how clueless my husband was.  I just stewed in resentment and criticism without even really thinking about or knowing what I wanted or bothering to tell him.  He should just know and understand me!  Unfortunately, my criticism never motivated him to improve. 

It’s so frustrating when you’re saying something simple, and your husband suddenly shuts down and acts cold or angry. It feels like you can’t even have a mature conversation without things getting messy. You just want to tell him to chill out so you can actually talk things over. 

I used to be conf...

What if you could have a marriage that is easy, peaceful, and happy instead of painful, lonely, and hostile? 

To my client, Tehila, who was frequently verbally abused, it sounded pretty far-fetched -  especially because her husband saw no reason to change.

He flew into unexpected rages, spewing ha...

When I was in the depths of despair in my marriage, I was certain of only one thing - HE needed to change. Me, not so much.  I was a good wife and a good person.  I was only miserable because of him. 

But he wasn’t interested in changing. And I became more and more resentful. 

So what is there to ...

Why do I have to spell things out - shouldn’t my husband just open his eyes and see what I need?  I’m not expecting him to be a mind reader or anything. OK, maybe I am.  But shouldn't he be that tuned in to me?

It’s so unromantic to tell him what I want - he should just know! If I have to ask, I ma...

Have you ever heard that marriage is all about communication?  I used to let my husband know just how frustrated I felt when I had to ask him a few times before he finally took out the garbage or how abandoned I felt when he paid more attention to his phone than to me.

I also had to communicate exa...

Shana Rishona: I sat in a dream-like haze, my cholent untouched, as my very own talmid chacham waxed brilliantly on this week’s parsha.  How had I merited to marry such a genius?

Fast forward twenty years…and here it comes again: time to clear the fish plates and serve the cholent. Look, I knew it ...