When Vacation Doesn’t Feel Like a Break

Shira should have been excited.

They were finally going away as a family.
A change of scenery.
Time together.
Memories in the making.

But instead of feeling excited… she felt dread.

Her husband was energized.
He had plans.
Activities.
A full itinerary.

And Shira?

She felt exhausted just thinking about it.

She said quietly:

“Honestly… it feels like more work than staying home.”

And then came the guilt.

What kind of wife feels this way about a family vacation?

When Vacation Exposes What’s Really Going On

Here’s what was actually happening.

For her husband, vacation meant more family time, more togetherness, more shared experiences.

For Shira, it meant something very different.

She was already with the kids every day.
She wasn’t craving more togetherness.
She was craving relief.

Relief from the cold.
From the routine.
From the pressure.
From always being the one holding everything together.

Because while he was thinking about fun…

She was thinking about all the ways the kids would be dysregulated. 
They’d eat junk.
They’d stay up too late.
They’d watch videos half the day.

And then she’d be the one dealing with the fallout.

So she tried to control it.

Not because she’s controlling 
but because she’s already exhausted and afraid of what will happen if she lets go.

Expressing Desires (Instead of Carrying It All Silently)

The first shift we worked on was getting in touch with and expressing her desires in advance.

“I’d love help with baths and bedtime on the trip.”
“I would like ideas for seating arrangements, activities, and snacks for the plane.”
“I would love a few hours alone instead of going on the boating trip.”

No long rationalizations.
No justification.
No whining.

Just honesty.

Because when a woman doesn’t express her desires, she ends up following a plan she wants no part of.

Relinquishing Control (The Hardest One)

Then came the deeper work.

It meant she stopped trying to manage every outcome.

It looked like:
• Letting the kids eat differently than she would choose
• Allowing later bedtimes without panic
• Resisting the urge to correct or step in
• Trusting that not everything had to be perfect

And yes, when she let him lead, a lot of things weren’t done her way.

But something else happened.

She felt lighter, happier, and more resilient to the inevitable whining.
Because control is exhausting.

And when she loosened her grip, she finally got to rest, not because everything went smoothly, but because she stopped carrying the entire load.

The Truth Most Women Need to Hear

If travel feels overwhelming, it’s not because you’re difficult.

It’s often because:
• You’re doing too much
• You don’t feel supported
• You’re afraid of what will happen if you let go
• You’ve learned that control feels safer than trust

And most importantly, you haven't thought about what you actually want to do and articulated that. 

Peace doesn’t come from managing harder.

It comes from knowing what you want and knowing when to let go.

Ready for a Different Kind of Trip?

If you’re reading this and thinking,
“That’s me on every trip…”
If vacations feel more draining than refreshing…
If you’re tired of managing everyone’s experience while yours gets pushed aside…

👉 Schedule a Free Call with me here

We’ll talk about how to shift out of control and into calm without chaos, guilt, or giving up what matters to you.

You deserve a break that actually feels like a break. 💛