How to Be the Spark — Even in the Dark 🕯️

Esty hadn’t planned on crying during candle lighting.

But something about the moment — the warm glow, the singing, the children playing— cracked something open inside.

Her husband was there. Physically.

But not emotionally.

He was distracted and in a bad mood about who knows what. The moment felt holy — but also edgy.

She was doing everything to bring the magic of the chag into their home.

He was doing everything not to feel it.

And as she wiped away a tear, one quiet, resentful thought flickered in her heart:

“I can’t do this alone.”

But here’s the thing about Chanukah.
You can start with one.
One tiny jar.
One candle.
One small light.
And that’s all it takes to push back the dark.

Your Influence Is Bigger Than You Think

You don’t need to push, convince, explain, or demand.

You don’t need to get him to “meet you halfway.”

You only need to lead with light.

Because your calm presence, your vulnerability, your trust, your joy — those are all contagious.

They influence.
They inspire.
They lead.

Even if he doesn’t seem to notice.

Your energy sets the tone.

This Isn’t Just a Story About Oil

It’s a story about overcoming your nature.

Not reacting.
Not exploding.
Not collapsing in hopelessness or despair.

But instead… pausing.
Softening.
Choosing something higher.

That is the miracle.

What Might That Look Like for You?

It might mean:

• Holding your tongue when your instinct is to lash out

• Saying “ouch” and stepping away, instead of launching into defense mode

• Letting go of the snarky comment and whispering “Thank you” instead

• Letting him be in a bad mood — without making it yours

• Finding one good thing to believe about him and choosing to see it

Not forever. Just for now.

One moment of light.

And then another.
And then another.

This Is How the Darkness Lifts

Esty decided not to confront him after candle lighting.

Not to drop her sadness like a lead balloon onto the evening.

She chose music. She chose dancing with the kids. She chose to be the spark.

And she noticed something:

He didn’t retreat as quickly. He chuckled at the kids' antics. His mood shifted.

Just a little.

But enough to know: the light had started to spread.

Your Turn

If you’ve been waiting for things to get better…

If you’re holding out for him to notice, change, shift…

Don’t wait.

You don’t need to be perfect.
You don’t need to fix it all.

You just need to start with one spark. 

🔥 Ready to Flip the Switch?

Let’s talk about how to bring light back into your marriage — even if you feel totally in the dark.

👉 Schedule a Free Clarity Call

You are not alone. And your light is stronger than you think.