How Shalom Bayis Can Help Rebuild the Beis Hamikdash

Have you ever thought about how Tisha B’Av and the destruction of the Beis Hamikdash relate to us today? Sure, it’s a historical event, but the lessons are still super relevant. The Beis Hamikdash was destroyed because of baseless hatred and honestly, when we let anger or resentment take root in our marriages, we’re adding to the same negative energy that caused that destruction.

But every time we create peace and connection in our homes, we’re actually contributing to the rebuilding of the Beis Hamikdash. Our homes can become sacred spaces where Hashem’s presence dwell, places full of warmth, love, and connection. This is our “Mikdash Me’at.”

If you’re struggling in your marriage, know that you’re not alone. It’s never too late to make a change, and I’m going to show you how even small shifts can lead to big improvements.

Tirtza's Story: Rebuilding Her Marriage, One Step at a Time

Let me tell you about my client Tirtza. She’s been married for almost twenty years, but for a long time, her relationship felt like it was falling apart. They were living in the same house but more like roommates than a married couple. There was tension, frustration, and no real emotional connection.

She realized that in order to feel peace in her life and a closer relationship with Hashem, she needed to start with the relationship that mattered most, her marriage. But, like many of us, she didn’t know where to begin.

Tirtza was hesitant at first to ask for help. Who wants to admit their marriage isn’t perfect after all these years? But once she decided to get coaching, everything started to change for the better.

The Power of “Gratitude”

One of the most eye-opening things Tirtza learned through coaching was the importance of giving and receiving gratitude. Now, this might sound a little small, but trust me, it made a huge difference.

Tirtza had always been focused on the things her husband wasn’t doing, his flaws, and his mistakes. But what she didn’t realize was how much more positive energy she could create by simply acknowledging the things he was doing right. She started making it a point to express appreciation to him regularly, whether it was about how hard he was working, how great a parent he was, or just the small, everyday things he did.

At first, it felt a little awkward and insincere. But as she kept practicing, she noticed a shift. Her husband started opening up more and responding with more gentleness and appreciation to her. The atmosphere in their home became more positive, more loving. They both felt more connected, and slowly, the tension started to fade away.

Rebuilding Peace at Home

Tirtza’s relationship with her husband grew stronger, and their home started to feel like a place of warmth and trust. They no longer had that heavy emotional distance between them, and for the first time in a long time, she felt as though the Shechina was really present in their home.

Expressing gratitude to each other regularly brought a lightness to their relationship. It was a small change, but it had a huge impact. Their marriage became more peaceful, more loving, and more connected.

The Path to Geulah Starts at Home

We all have the power to create peace in our homes. When we work on our relationships and focus on small, positive changes, we’re contributing to the rebuilding of the Beis Hamikdash. It doesn’t require huge gestures or dramatic changes, just daily acts of noticing the good. 

If you’re feeling stuck or like things in your marriage aren’t where you want them to be, it’s okay. It’s never too late to make a shift. You can start creating a home full of warmth, trust, and connection.

Creating peace in your home is a powerful step towards helping to bring the geulah.