Why He Won't Open Up

“I feel like he lives in his own world. Big decisions. Crazy ideas. And I’m the last to know.”

Bruchie's husband was not private.
He wasn't emotionally blocked.
And he wasn't “bad at communicating.”

He stopped talking to her on purpose.

Not to punish her.
Not because he doesn’t love her.

But because whenever Bruchie's husband mentioned any idea he had, her body tightened and her mind, often followed closely by her tongue, ran loose:

"You're nuts!"

"I can't believe you would even consider something so risky!"

"This is going to make my life even more unmanageable!"

So she did what many competent, loving women do. She asked questions. She offered perspective. She flagged concerns. She tried to help him think it through.

She didn’t realize that every well-meaning response translated to him as:
Your ideas and excitement will be shot down here.

Her opinion felt like doubt. Her insight felt like opposition. And her concern sounded like condescension.

So he shared less.
And then… almost nothing.

What was really happening

Here’s the part most women are never taught:

Your husband already knows what he wants to do.

When he brings something up, he is rarely asking for your opinion. He’s often just floating a thought. Testing his excitement. Letting you into his inner world for a moment.

Half the time, he won’t even follow through.

But when those moments are met with advice, logic, or caution, he feels shut down. 

And without emotional safety, a man goes silent.

Every time Bruchie tried to convince him why his idea was bad, either:

1. He’d do it anyway.

2. He’d drop it, but emotionally withdraw from her.

The Shift

Over time, Bruchie saw the pattern and realized that trying to steer him was costing her the very closeness she craved.
So she did something unfamiliar, but powerful:
She heard him out without interrupting or questioning. 
Let his emotions breathe.

And then, instead of reacting with fear, Bruchie learned to respond in ways that made him feel heard, trusted, and supported.  

When he talked about a potential job that required frequent travel, something genuinely scary for her to contemplate, she said:
“You’ll be incredible. And I’ll miss you.”

When he floated a financial investment that made her nervous, she responded:
“I hear you. And I trust you.”

No convincing.
No panic.  No state-of-the-union "discussion".
Just respect.  And the courage to let go of control in favor of connection.

It doesn’t mean approving of every idea.
It doesn’t mean pretending you aren’t scared.
And it definitely doesn’t mean abandoning your values.

It means letting go of the belief that it’s your job to manage his choices.

What it’s like now

Something quietly powerful shifted.

He started talking again.

Not because she asked better questions.
Not because she proved herself reasonable.
But because he no longer had to brace himself when he spoke.

Here’s the truth most women resist at first:

You cannot control what he does.
But the moment you try, you lose access to his inner world.

A man who feels managed will protect himself with silence.
A man who feels trusted will invite you closer.

Relinquishing control doesn’t make you powerless.
It makes you a safe place for him to open his heart.

If you feel shut out of his thoughts, dreams, and decisions…
This isn’t about being quiet and passive.
It takes strength to listen instead of lead.
It takes courage to trust instead of direct.

And it’s not something you have to figure out alone.

If you're ready to feel closer and more emotionally connected, let’s talk.
👉 Schedule a free call.  Together, we’ll gently uncover where fear has been driving the dynamic…
And how trust can take the lead instead.

Because fear shuts him down.
Trust brings him back.